A Few Introductions

On Friday, August 28, we were blessed with the most beautiful, identical gifts, Anneli Mae and Ellsa Jane.

Anni & Elli

Anni (Baby A) was born at 7:32pm, weighing 3lb 15oz and measuring 17.25 inches in length.

Elli (Baby B) was born at 8:00pm, weighing 4lb 14oz and measuring 17 inches in length.

The girls were born completely healthy, though 5 weeks early. They will spend up to 4 weeks with our wonderful hospital team learning to regulate their temperatures and digest food properly. Please pray for our girls!

The New Fam: Luke, Elli, Alexis, & Anni

Woe is Me

Aren't you totally jealous of my Paintbrush skills? I'll call this masterpiece my Diagram of Ows.

This will be my last post for a while, dear friends. I need to focus my energies on not being miserable. (I could laugh at myself for saying I was uncomfortable in weekly updates of the past.) Thanks to everyone who has been emailing and calling. I AM getting your messages when I make it to my iPhone, and I love getting them, but I just won't be responding. Sorry. :( I will probably continue with my Sunday updates (if we get to another Sunday). Never fear, I will resume my regular posting once the girls come. If I have your number, you'll get a text the day of their arrival... Love to all!

Curiosities

Today I spent a lot of time "meditating" from a single position. It was the only one I could find that wasn't incredibly uncomfortable between the back labor and my rib-residents. (The girls spent the day parked on my ribs like it was a bench - swinging away with their legs.) All of this time afforded me the opportunity to think about some random curiosities of this late stage of pregnancy. And, so, I present them to you here, Encyclopedia Brown style:

1) The Case of the Traveling Mole. A friend of mine has a hilarious story about a wandering mole she had whilst prego with her first son. I, too, have a traveling mole that was once very close to my navel and is now quite far away. Will it ever return? Will it like its new home? (Are you too good for your home?)

2) The Case of the Neglected Navel. Okay, not to keep calling out this friend, but she also has another great story about the discovery of how accommodating her belly button had been to random things throughout her pregnancy. Keeping this in mind, I've tried to be diligent with the washing, but it's been a really long time since I could see it and it closed itself off from the outside world. Will it be gnarly? I'll never tell you.

3) The Case of the Missing Organs. Where is my stomach at these days? And my intestines? Or any of my internal organs, for that matter? When one's stomach growls, a sound usually emanates from the belly region. My stomach growled yesterday and the sound came out of my back!!!! Very strange.

4) The Case of the Glorious Mane. I had really great hair through the eighth grade. (My super huge roller-set curls and wave bangs shown in my 8th grade pics prove it, y'all.) Sometime after that I started losing massive amounts of hair and shine due to stress. Up until the last trimester of my pregnancy, I was pulling a handful out every shower. But not anymore! I have the greatest head of hair since my days of hairspray! How long will it last? Can I trick it into staying on my head? Is hairspray the key?

5) The Case of the Contagious Crying. I've never been one to be very moved by seeing babies or births on television or in movies. But, lately, put a crying baby on the tube and let the waterworks roll. I can be completely oblivious to whatever is on, surfing the internet or reading.... but as soon as a baby starts crying, I lose it! Will it be this way from now on? (Praying that Hallmark doesn't put out any new commercials for a while.)

Sonograms (Sike/Psych)

Remember when we used to yell "sike/psych" when we were younger? (I've had lengthy discussions for years as part of my inquest into the spelling of this slang term. Anyone?)

To the point, I didn't walk away with any great sonogram pics today. The girls were so cramped up in there and I was so nauseated from lying on my back that the session was a bust, except for getting all of the measurements and such the doctor needed. Actually, we couldn't really even do that because the heads were so low they were blocked by my bones. And, their legs and feet were tucked up under my rib cage, so we couldn't get any of those either. They had their bums set right on the ribs, which explains why it looks like I swallowed a giant cube.

We were able to see that the back of Baby B's head is covered in peach fuzz hair! Both of the girls had good heartbeats at 143 bpm and they were "practice breathing", which is a good indicator that they will be able to breathe on their own when they deliver. Poor little Baby A has not been able to make up any weight and continues to weigh in a full pound less than Baby B. (Baby A is 4lb 5oz and Baby B is 5lb 6oz.) Because of this differential, if the amniotic fluid or reactivity of the babies had been anything less than as great as they are, my OB would have taken them today.

Now, as for me... I have been experiencing some rather unique symptoms since Sunday evening. And, in the early hours of this morning, the symptoms were so exaggerated that I thought I was in labor. My appointment today revealed that I am fully effaced and 3-4cm dilated. (Note to readers, 4cm is when the typical prego is admitted to the hospital to deliver). So, it's just the meds keeping things at bay. The doctor said that even if I were to stand on my head for the next 2 weeks, there was no way I would make it to 36 weeks. So, this new adventure begins with a waiting game...

I am REALLY hoping my body will hold on a little longer. If the girls came today, they would have to spend about 2 weeks in the NICU. So, every day under our belts now is one less to spend in the hospital later. (Um, thank goodness for Army healthcare.)

Supposedly, this is the back of B's head, and there is hair there. Yah, I don't see it either. I told you, the pics were a bust.

Week 34!

We've made it to our initial goal! And the doc is very happy with our progress. She even gave me the clear to increase my activity level a little bit. (So I dusted my bedroom furniture the next day and I felt as though I had just done 500 squats, because my quads burned so badly.)

Remember my suspicions that we were going through a growth spurt? Well, I was very right. In the last week, I've put on 5 lbs, which is more than I have put on since week 24. Sweet! I'd like to thank my sponsors: my chef (Luke), Kite's (a local pub with delicious curly-fries), Ben, and Jerry.

The girls continue to thrive. My weekly NST at the hospital yielded the usual oohs and ahhs from all of the nurses, and exclamations as to the health and strength of the twins. This week they even passed around the computer print-out. Baby A also had a bad case of the hiccups, which was rather fun to listen to for the duration of the appointment. They passed their reactivity tests in 5 minutes, which is unheard of for twinkies.

I expected nothing less. I can tell how strong they are. Their little tiffs have turned into all-out brouhahas. (What a great word!) Sometimes the hooks and jabs happen so fast that I imagine the antics of the 3 stooges on fast-forward, and I find myself having to catch my breath. (Knuck, knuck, knuck!)

Discomfort is at a maximum, as I feel like my insides are tearing away from my skin. I also am having difficulty getting up from laying down. Not even pushing myself up with my arms to a half-side-lean to roll-out of bed is working anymore. Luke soon may literally have to roll me out of bed every hour of the night.

Wednesday is our final sonogram. Stay tuned! Here are some fun shots from Lucy's first visit to the deck. (She wasn't so sure about it, so we practiced our breathing together.)

Arrrr, Matey!

Today was a big day.

I got a chance to leave my couch to go beach my whale on someone else's couch for the day!

What was the occasion? The celebration of the first birthday of our little friend, J-Man!

As part of his birthday present, I cut out a Jolly Roger hat, a swashbuckling sword, and a hook for him, as well as various under-the-sea creatures for his bedroom. This was a great bedrest task for me, that left my creative side quite satisfied. So, if you find yourself needing anything cut out of craft-foam, please get in touch with me immediately.

Happy birthday, J-Man! (From your self-declared favorite auntie.)

Memory Lane Competition

One of my bedrest projects has been to organize all of my pictures on my hard-drive and finally get some printed. I have accumulated thousands of pics, over the lifetime of 3 different computers and 3 different digital cameras. As you can imagine, getting these all organized and named using parallel formatting (this is VERY important to me) has been time consuming. I finally finished today, though! AND, I think we will soon have pictures on our walls, for the first time in our marriage. I don't even have a wedding picture up of us. Sad.

I often complain that Luke and I are NOT photogenic people. However, after looking over my pics from the past few years, I've found some gems to share.

See if you can place pics 1 through 5 in chronological order (and be sure to comment)! You may have an unfair advantage if you are familiar with uniforms, or familiar with my experiments in hair colors.


1. 2.

3. 4.

5.

Note to self: I once had amazing skin.

Note to readers: If you're really lucky, you might get some pics from even further down memory lane... Highschool style.

Rocket Science

Evidence that the twins might be future rocket scientists, jet propulsion engineers, or MacGyver proteges:

I am fairly certain that the twins have rigged up some propulsion system to my navel. Not because of how far it is protruding from my belly, but because I feel like it may literally be launched from my body at any moment. It is so uncomfortable, that I think I would offer to do the countdown to belly-button lift off myself.

I tried to be a rocket scientist one time. NASA was conducting interviews and I thought it would be very cool to at least try for a job. Unfortunately, they weren't looking for chemical engineers. I did not out-rightly lie, but I may have lead the recruiter to believe that I was an aeromechanical engineer by talking a good game. (We ChemEs delved way more into thermo and transport than AeroMechEs... Sorry, guys, it's true.) So, when I handed over my resume at the interview, everyone had a good laugh. I ended up admitting that everything I knew about lift and drag I learned from a paper airplane project I did in the 4th grade, BUT I could calculate the entropy of the universe, and didn't that count for something? (Only my ChemE friends will appreciate how funny I am.) So, my charm failed me. To my friends and readers who ARE rocket scientists, jet propulsion engineers, or NASA employees (I have some really smart friends), I'm sorry for trying to take your jobs. The best men did win, but I have a NASA pin, and, I can design diapers better than you. :)

Week 33!

Week 33! Only one week away from our first goal, which was to make it to 34 weeks so that the girls' lungs would be developed enough such that I could deliver here at the hospital with my OB.

This week's pictures are evidence of my downward spiral into prego brain. (I decided to use the out-takes because they amused me.) The side shot was taken first. Here I'm trying to figure out why it didn't feel right. Oh, that's right, I'm holding my boob instead of holding my belly. (Luke caught the shot as my hand was moving.) You'll also notice that I can no longer reach down to get all of the way around my belly. And aren't prego pants attractive? I love the tent action between my belly and legs. Then we move on to the front shot. Here Luke is telling me that I look like Horatio (from CSI: Miami) because my head was tilted in all of the shots.

The girls continue their clogging. I'm almost certain that my ribs are bruised because I am in so much pain. According to my literature, the girls are now about 4lbs each and as long as drumsticks (the kind you use with a drumset, not KFC style). The next page in the book said that over the next 7 weeks, their weights would double. WHAT? This is not possible!

Well, it's happening and I just have to get used to it. How do I know we're going through a growth spurt? Aside from the obvious enlargements, I started sleeping to excess last Monday... racking out into complete oblivion. I would estimate the in a 24 hour period, I am awake for less than 8 hours. This is very similar to the other 2 major growth spurts I have experienced.

Something very cool thing did happen this week: One night after a bathroom break, I laid down and Baby A tried sticking her feet out of my stomach. I always try to touch the little elusive bumps, but the girls move away. This time, she let me rub one of her little feet!!! For a long time! It was so cool. I'd guess her foot was just about the length of 2 of my thumb widths. Amazing.

Alternative Diaper Disposal

I think I'm on to something.

We've opted (for now) not to go the Diaper Whiz-Bang-Whatever route for diaper disposal. One, I think they are ugly. Two, my friend has one and I can't figure it out.

BUT. When I heard about this new species of carnivorous plant discovered in the Philippines that eats rats (think Venus Fly Trap on acid), a big light bulb went off in my head. (It's called Nepenthes attenboroughii, or the Giant Pitcher Plant... dubbed "Rat Genie" by me.) Can't we go green and import one of these things to take care of our biological waste? What about kitchen scraps? Or dog poo?

Luke was concerned it might also dispose of small hands and feet, so we'll have to conduct more research. And scour the black market to obtain one of these rare Rat Genies.

Whatchamacallit?

We're not discussing the candy bar here. But aren't they delicious? I can't remember seeing one for years, but I distinctly remember eating one when I was 7, standing in my garage.

No, instead, we shall contemplate the assignment of names to various body parts and functions. I am torn between three schools of thought:

(1) Teach the girls the proper names for things.
(2) Teach them slang, layman (yet socially appropriate) terms.
(3) Assign one of the standard baby-ish terms to everything.

I can think of lots of pros and cons to each. For example, who would be comfortable hearing a 2 year old ask to urinate, or using the word urethra? On the other hand, it would be awkward for the girls to transition too late into grown-up terms, and that would require a rather elaborate conversation to explain why we used the baby-ish terms to begin with. We do, however, use the words potty and poopy with Lucy, so that could get confusing. (But maybe not since we won't be teaching the girls to sit at the door and squat outside.)

I'm tempted to stick with pee and poop and asking to "use the restroom" because that's the terminology I use. So, that would be option (2). However, I'm still not sure on how to reference the anatomy. I don't use the words vagina and penis in my everyday vocabulary, and I'm pretty sure if someone asked me to play the Penis Game*, I still would not be able to.

I welcome all suggestions.


*For all of those who may be somewhat horrified/mystified at the point, the Penis Game required dueling parties to say the word "penis" successively louder until someone chickened out. Stupid, but it still makes me sort of giggle and sweat just thinking about it. I never played it Mom. I swear.

Week 32!

So, we've made it to 8 months! The new goal is to make it to 34 weeks and, ultimately, 36+.

These pics were taken just as a nice windy storm was blowing up, so my front pic is a bit deceptive. I actually have not put on any weight (since week 24). After watching one of our prego videos today, this makes a lot of sense. One of the six signs that you will go into labor within 4 weeks is that your weight stabilizes. (I had all of the other 5 signs too, but we won't go into that.) Hindsight is 20/20. As Luke says, even if we had watched the videos back then, we wouldn't have thought anything of these symptoms because it was so early. And, don't get me wrong, my belly is huge and getting huge-er.

Anyway, I'm sporting 2 items from the "I'll probably never wear these" pile. When I was inundated with passed-down prego items I separated them into 4 piles.

1. "I can wear these now."
2. "I'll be able to wear these later on."
3. "I'll probably never wear these."
4. And "There is no way I'll get this large."

So, I've discovered a few more wearable items to add to my small rotation. As you can see, I almost missed out on being able to wear the purple shirt. On to pile 4? Maybe soon!

I know I say this week after week, but the girls are increasingly active. Morning Tai Chi sessions have been extended. I swear they play ping-pong in there at night. Probably with my bladder. Today I think I might have felt a finger drag across my lower abdomen, because the pressure was much different and more concentrated than the hands and feet I normally feel. Any time I fully lay down, which is often, my belly starts contorting. It looks similar to Neo's stomach in the Matrix, just before he has that scary thing sucked out of his belly button. (And, coincidentally, you can refer to me as Mrs. Anderson.) According to Luke's research, the girls are between the sizes of a winter squash and a honeydew melon. I say they feel much bigger than that.

My body has become accustomed to this new situation. Now my biggest challenge is remembering that I'm not bed-resting because I CAN'T do things (though they would be much slower and deliberated), but because I SHOULDN'T.

Top Speed

Between bedrest, muscle relaxers and my looming size, moving "fast" is not something that happens much these days.

Yesterday I found myself in a desperate situation that required the exertion, however. Here is my story.

I turn off the shower and reach outside to grab a towel that isn't there. I look left and see it hanging yonder on a door handle. Blast! I think of how much I hate the feeling of tiles under my feet (ew!). And, even worse, I think of how much I hate water on the floor. I must work quickly. Stepping out with the stealth of a... sow... I pump my arms and set my swagger on high. I tip-toe with an unrecognizable grace, snatch the towel and return to the shower in as short of time as physically possible.

All in all, I traveled a total of less than 15 feet at "top speed". I swear to you, friends, I could feel the air passing over me and hear wind in my ears. The sensation seemed so foreign and startling that I tried to lock it into my memory. Sigh. Week 27 seems such a long time ago (when I was still partaking in the gym everyday).

Live Like It's Your Last Day

You might be expecting me to say something monumental or spiritual here, but I warn you I'm not going to. (Another disclaimer: Those are not my legs.)

I never know what abilities I might lose from day to day. Keeping this in mind, I shave my legs religiously every morning, because tomorrow I might wake up and not be able to reach my ankles (at which point I would start wearing ankle socks and shaving the rest of my legs). As it is, I can't reach my toes, so if I had hair on my big toe (maybe I do, maybe I don't) I couldn't shave it. If this pregnancy goes on long enough, I might reach a point where I can only shave between my calves and quads, or possibly just my knees. If you ever see belly pics with me in knee high socks and a skirt, you know what happened.

I mentioned before that I can no longer put on my underwear in a normal fashion. I wish I had appreciated that more. I'm nearing the stage when I'll have to get creative to put on pants altogether. So, every day I can still do it normally, I whisper a prayer of thanks.

Yesterday I discovered that between my muscle relaxers and my expanding belly, I can no longer stabilize a plate in one hand and operate utensils with the others. (I have to eat sort-of laying on the couch because sitting up makes me contract). So, the day before that was the last day of eating meals normally. Now they have to be lighter and require less motor skills. Sloppy joes would totally be ruled out.

Along the same vein, I made a big mistake about 3 weeks ago when I painted my toenails orange. What was I thinking?! I was not living like it was my last day touching my feet. Now its time for the polish to come off and the job will fall to Luke. Poor guy. My nails really need a trim too. I'll let you know how breaking that news goes.

Week 31!

I promise. These pics were taken en route from the shower to the couch. I'm still bed-resting. I do believe I am starting to put on weight again, so that is very good news. On the other hand, I'm experiencing my worst "pox" outbreak yet, and that is not so cool. Friday we had a bit of fun when I started contracting like mad again at the hospital during our weekly non-stress test. I was admitted for a while, injected for a while, and released again. I swear, it's car rides that make me contract.

The girls are still going strong. I am feeling more and more distinguishable movements. Seeing them even. A hand here. A foot there. It's a regular hokey pokey dance. I can tell they like to be entertained because the moment I relax or sit down after a restroom break, they start up their dancing again.

Luke is doing all of the nesting, and doing it quite well. More on that to come...

Straws

This is an ode to a common object: the straw.

You see, I have a lot of time to contemplate very ordinary things these days. There is no rush for me to do one thing or another, or get some where. So, I think about babies. I think about ice cream. I think about straws.

Seriously, how great are straws?

When we were little, my bro and I had pink and blue swirly ones (possibly in the shape of Mickey Mouse's head). This made drinking water so much more satisfying, and secretly blowing bubbles in milk so much easier! Somewhere along the line Zack got a rad twisty blue one with Taz on it and I got nothing. So jealous.

And, all straws are not equal, friends. Think about it. If the inner diameter is not suited to your beverage, the experience is ruined. I have a couple strong memories about them from my childhood. First, I remember either McDonald's or BK having the perfect straw diameter. Whichever place it was, their straws had a yellow stripe up one side and a red stripe down the other. Those were the best ones. I can also remember being in middle school and watching people at church grabbing coffee stirrers to use as straws, and me thinking how lame that was. I still do. If you use a coffee stirrer as a straw, I'm going to judge you harshly. A current great straw can be found at Panera. Go there and order one of their Organic Strawberry Smoothies. Not only will you thank me for the delicious tip, but you will appreciate the huge, colorful straw.

I used straws in my Nalgene bottle in college and beyond because I had a real problem with dumping water on my face (on my textbooks and then on 30 page lab reports, which then had to be reprinted - and, later on my lesson plans). Since the Nalgene went everywhere with me, if I forgot my straws, I would have to purchase another cheap package of 500. (Thankfully a friend found me a splash guard so I didn't have to deal with this problem anymore. It's rather hard to be professional carrying a lime green Nalgene and sporting a Rorschach of water. Thanks, J!)

So, now I have like 10,000 straws in my pantry. One would think I would have a straw-holder or something cute on my counter to hold them. But I can't do that, because having the mixed colors (yellow, green, blue and red stripes) would really bother me. In my anal retentive-ness, I would have to sort through them and only have one color in the straw-jar at a time. I really need to think of something to do with my thousands of straws, because, honestly, if I found a package of cooler straws like, say, the Panera ones, I would get them to use instead.